Gratitude, Explanations and Status Update...

To those of you who never gave up on me…. Endless calls, texts, emails, snail mail, surprise packages and contacting Amber to check I was still kickin’ and able to wipe my own drool… Thank you so much!  Even though I couldn’t reply, I sent my appreciation and love out to you as hard as I could!

I love you guys!  My heart is full of love and gratitude for having such amazing people in my life!  Hope to be telling you personally at some point soon.

I am doing much better now.  Physically, I’ve never felt better in my life, I’m off all meds except thyroid replacement, have cut that dose in half and hope to be in complete remission by this time next year.  I went back to the gym July 19^th, and already I’m stronger with greater flexibility.  Also, my old sparring partner BC (remember my broken ankle, leg reap gone wrong; my dumb-ass fault) is training me from a variety of disciplines.  He kicks my ass around the mat once a week.  I still have a few issues I’m working on but things are looking up.

I’m working hard to regain some confidence.  Don’t laugh, I was a big fat (literally) wuss for a while there.  I’ve been going to the range again and after five years off can still shoot (my) fist size groupings with my Glock19.  With the Mossberg I can consistently blow away the targets' solar plexus across to the right shoulder.... but practice is really so more fun than I remembered!  

Quick caveat here: I actively avoid the ‘reformed’… you know the people who quit smoking/drinking/find religion, Tony Robins or Amway and feel that burning desire to share their joy and tell everyone?  Ugh, nothing worse, right?  Yeah, I'm kind of one of them now.

To regain my health I researched and adjusted everything I put into and onto my body.  It was drastic but worth it to regain my health.  Consequently, I’m a fucking freak but have no desire to change!  I have knowledge that I can’t UN-know but I’m trying hard to want to shut the hell up about it.  Don’t get me wrong…I’m happy and even feel a tiny bit superior but I am still working on all of it.

If you’re still here, thanks for reading.  I hope to find my ‘voice’ again and the pleasure I used to find in writing, because as you can imagine….. I’ve got five years of words built up.   There will most certainly be more in depth postings about all this but for now I’m going to post whatever occurs to me and  hope it doesn’t read like the ramblings of some crazy old chick trying sort out her own shit.

Peace Out.